


Alec and Robert One shots

by YassBanrion



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Dark Artifices Series - Cassandra Clare, The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec Lightwood Feels, Alec Lightwood-centric, Bad Parent Robert Lightwood, Emotionally Hurt Alec Lightwood, Good Parent Robert Lightwood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-29 10:47:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19018348
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YassBanrion/pseuds/YassBanrion
Summary: Some one shots about Alec and Robert! I’m always intrigued by Robert and I kind of wish we got to see more of him and their relationship in the books!





	1. Kids

Magnus awoke to the sound of the front door banging, he sat up bleary eyed wondering why Alec was making such a racket. The bedroom door flew open next and Alec stumbled in and threw himself face down on their bed. He was fully clothed,still wearing his boots and he absolutely reeked of alcohol. 

Magnus crinkled his nose as he leaned over Alec and nudged him. Alec groaned and turned his head towards Magnus, keeping his eyes firmly clamped shut. Magnus was worried, it wasn’t like Alec to get so stocious, especially seemingly alone. Magnus presumed if he had been with Jace or Isabelle they would have taken him home and not let him wander over here. 

Magnus waved his light on so he could have a better look at Alec. His eyes were red and swollen, he had been crying, Magnus’ heart gave a painful thump. There was generally only one thing that could make Alec cry, and that was his parents. 

They had come a long way since they first started dating, Alec had publicly announced their relationship by kissing Magnus on front of everyone. Alec’s parents had been shocked, but they had put on a front at the celebration. Magnus knew, though, that Robert was anything but pleased about his sons choice of life partner and it had led to arguments.

Magnus sighed, they would talk about it in the morning, Alec wasn’t exactly in the best position for chatting. Magnus waved his hand and Alec’s clothes were replaced with pyjama bottoms and a blanket appeared over him. He didn’t even shift. Magnus leaned over and kissed his boyfriend on the forehead before laying back down for a night of tossing and turning.

The next morning Magnus awoke to find Alec’s side of the bed empty and the sound of the shower running. Alec was a creature of habit, no matter what time or state he came home in. A few minutes later Alec emerged in a cloud of steam, with a towel wrapped around his waste. He looked at Magnus with the look of a child who had done something wrong. “I’m sorry I came in so late last night, and so, drunk”. Magnus shook his head and smiled at his boyfriend, patting the bed beside him “come and talk to me”. 

Alec sighed and sat down across from Magnus, he looked so vulnerable in that moment Magnus just wanted to tuck him back in bed. But he stayed silent and waited for Alec to formulate what he wanted to say. “I had a fight with my dad, some things were said, and I’m not totally sure how we’re going to fix things between us”. 

Magnus felt his heart constrict, he knew Alec loved Robert and he also knew that despite everything Robert loved Alec more than anything. His criticism of Magnus was, in part, his way of protecting Alec from what he saw as a difficult life. “Do you want to tell me exactly what happened?”. Alec nodded, he looked away from Magnus, like he always did when something was particularly hard for him to say. 

“He told, he told me” Alec took a deep breathe and closed his eyes,as if preparing himself for a physical blow. “He told me that he was ashamed of me, he asked me what he had done so wrong in raising me that I turned out like this. What had happened to me to make me turn gay”. 

Magnus was about to speak when he realised Alec wasn’t finished. He almost whispered “He said that it was good that I wouldn’t have any children, in case they would turn out like me”. Magnus felt a series of emotions, blind rage, shattering sadness and an overwhelming feeling of love for this boy sitting on front of him. He wanted to protect Alec with everything he had at his disposal, he just never really thought about having to protect him from this kind of deep prejudice. Not from his own father. 

Magnus moved quickly and caught Alec in a hug. Alec leaned into the hug, pressing his face into the crook of Magnus’ shoulder. He didn’t make a sound but Magnus could feel his tears running down into his shoulder and he squeezed him just that bit tighter. 

Much later, after they had talked, Magnus lay in bed with Alec asleep on his chest. He ran his hand through his dark hair, traced his ruins and soaked in the feeling of holding his love in his arms. Magnus wished he could cast a spell to protect Alec from the emotional blows of the outside world, but he knew that’s not how life worked. 

Magnus thought of Robert Lightwood, a man who even after the death of a child, couldn’t see the bigger picture. He thought of those in the clave that would never take Alec seriously, who were disgusted by him. He felt angry that the world had moved on so much but still not enough. That they’re relationship would always be considered sub par by so many people.

But it was anything but sub par, it was love, as special and as unique as any other love. They laughed, they fought, they made love. Magnus knew that relationships came and went, but he also knew that he would fight for Alec with everything he had.


	2. Memories

Robert shook his head, he couldn’t show this memory to anyone, especially not to his son. If Alec saw it he would never forgive him, Robert knew he would lose him for good. But the demon was insistent that it was Robert who would provide the memory, because as it rasped it was Roberts memory which was the most painful. Demons thrived on pain and suffering.

Robert looked at the small group around him, Alec, Magnus, Jace, Clary, Luke and Simon. They were gathered here in Magnus’ loft to get a demonic scroll from this demon. It was a mission they had to complete and it seems he’s the one who must pay the price. He looked at Alec, and he took in his sons face, knowing that after this he would probably never speak to him again. 

He nodded and stepped up to the demon, it reached its claw like finger out and a tendril of smoke snaked out of Robert. With a swirling motion the demon turned it into a hazy image, an image which became vividly clear for each person in the room. They were able to experience the memory as if they themselves were there.

 

_Robert was sitting at his desk in the institute, trying to finish paperwork from a particularly nasty vampire den raid. He barely noticed the door to his study open, not until his son stepped through the door. Alec cleared his throat in the nervous way he usually did before telling Robert he had done something wrong. He was 15, so he spent a lot of his time apologising to his father for one thing or another._

_Robert looked up at Alec, waiting for him to speak, he knew that his son had to gather his words before actually saying them out loud. Alec shuffled up to Roberts desk, his hands buried in his sweater sleeves, head down as always. “Dad, can I talk to you about something?”, he glanced at Robert, he looked terrified. Robert wanted to say a plethora of comforting things, but that wasn’t the Lightwood way, so instead he nodded and held a hand out towards the chair on the other side of his desk._

_Alec slumped into the chair and opened his mouth before closing it again. Robert sat patiently while his son picked up the courage to say what he wanted. His skin was starting to prickle, he wasn’t the most eloquent of teenagers but he normally got it out quicker than this. When he started to speak Robert almost couldn’t hear him, he leaned forward towards his son. “My Parabatai ceremony is tomorrow” Alec breathed in heavily “and I think I might be making a mistake”._

_Robert opened his mouth to reassure Alec but shut it again when he realised he wasn’t finished. “I think it’s a mistake because my feelings for Jace are complicated” Alec shut his eyes preparing himself for what he had to say next. He stuttered out a sentence Robert never expected to hear “I don’t... um.... I don’t like girls, not like how I should, and I think, I might be... I think I might be gay”._

_The words floated between them like smoke, as if they were written in the very air. Robert sat staring at his son, he couldn’t breathe after what he had just heard. His son could not be gay, it was not possible, he had not raised him to be like this. Robert stood up and went around the other side of the desk so he was standing on front of Alec._

_Alec was breathing heavily, he looked up at Robert with a questioning look, “Dad, say something”. Robert didn’t have words, he knew he should probably remain calm but he didn’t, he snapped. He barely felt the back of his hand colliding with his sons face. He caught him on the side of the mouth, splitting his lip and causing his head to snap violently to the side. A mundane would have fallen clean off the chair but Alec was well trained to take sudden blows._

_A deathly silence came over the room, neither of them said a thing for what felt like years. Alec gingerly touched his mouth without moving his head, Robert could see his lip trembling, he was trying not to cry. But Robert felt no guilt in that moment, and he reached out and grabbed his sons chin so they were face to face. “Do not say things like that, You are not gay, you will get rid of those impure and disgusting thoughts, you are a Lightwood” Robert spat the words out as if the more venomous he sounded the more they would go in. “If you ever mention this to anyone, or act on this, I will derune you myself”._

_With this he let go of Alec and went to sit back in his own seat. Alec looked up at him,“Dad, please, you don’t think I’ve been trying, I came to you because I couldn’t keep it a secret anymore, it’s killing me”. Robert was on the precipice, he could comfort his child or he could be tough. He sat for a second and then he picked up his pen and began writing his paperwork. This was the age old signal that he was done with whoever he was speaking too._

_Alec sat staring at him for at least 30 seconds while Robert wrote words that didn’t even make sense. Then he heard his son stand up and walk out of the room, the door softly clicking behind him. Alec was never a door slammer like Isabelle was. He never screamed and shouted back at his parents, he was never overdramatic, he had always been the perfect child._

_Robert had never really worried about him._

 

_Robert put his pen down hours later and sighed, he could no longer ignore his hammering heart. Alec would never forgive him for this, he would always hate Robert and it was perhaps this which would push him into being insubordinate. Robert knew, for Alec’s own good, what he needed to do. He walked to a cabinet by his desk and removed a small green vial, it sparkled in the light._

_He left his office and walked towards Alec’s room. He stopped outside for a minute and softly tapped, he didn’t want Alec to be awake for this. When no reply came he pushed the door open and stepped inside. The room was bright, Alec had fallen asleep with the lights on, which was not like him. He saw his son then, lying fully clothed on top of his bed. When Robert got closer he could see how red his face was from crying himself to sleep._

_Robert felt a wave of guilt, he was cold and methodical but it didn’t mean he had no heart at all. He did love his children, he just couldn’t allow Alec to destroy himself and his family. He opened the bottle then, and without a second thought he poured it into Alec’s slightly open mouth. He put his hand over Alec’s face to make sure he didn’t spit it out as he woke up. When he took his hand away Alec was awake and staring at him. “What did you just do”._

_Robert looked at him, thinking how betrayed he would feel. “It was a memory potion, I gave you enough to forget any of this ever happened”. Alec started at Robert and he had never seen that look before, his son looked different. It’s like his once open eyes, the very windows into who he was, had slammed shut. Alec opened his mouth to say something but the potion kicked in and he passed out. That was it, Alec would wake up tomorrow and would never remember his conversation with Robert._

_But he would remember the feeling, the shame and the associated pain._

 

The room was deathly silent, nobody was saying anything or doing anything. The demon chuckled “That memory certainly was delicious, I will accept the payment”, with that it threw a scroll at Magnus and evaporated. Leaving behind the group, who were all standing awkwardly, trying to process what they had just seen. Robert looked at Alec, he moved towards his son, “Alec”. But Alec put a hand out to stop him “Don’t. Don’t come near me”. 

He then turned and walked out of the room, going into Magnus bedroom and quietly closing the door behind him. Magnus stepped forward “I think you should all leave, we have what we need and I think Alec needs some space right now. Robert stood while the group left and when he opened his mouth to say something to Magnus the warlock shook his head. 

“Robert, you have to leave, I need to focus on taking care of your son” and while he didn’t say the words, they both knew he wanted to add “because you didn’t”.


	3. Grief

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spoilers for Lord of Shadows in this chapter!

Alec came through the doors of the assembly, the place was in chaos, people shouting and pushing past each other to get out. The fear in the air was palpable. He could see Annabel, surrounded by guards and Julian Blackthorn cradling someone in his arms. But Alec’s heart stopped when he saw his father. Robert was lying in an insurmountable pool of blood. Alec dashed through the crowd, pushing past people including Jia. He didn’t care, he had tunnel vision, he had to get to his father. He landed beside Robert on his knees, he could feel the blood seeping into his clothes. He didn’t care. He took his stele out and drew a shaky iratze on Roberts arm, he willed it to work, prayed that it would work. But he knew deep down his father was already dead. He started to shake him, he could hear his blood rushing in his ears, and the deafening thump of his own heartbeat. He begged him to wake up “Dad, please, please wake up. Dad. Dad”. His heart was pounding faster, he felt sick, he was vaguely aware of Emma charging at Annabel. But when he looked up the other girl was gone, Emma was alone. He should have probably felt self conscious, he was aware people were watching him. Shadowhunters were not meant to break down , but he didn’t care, he couldn’t breathe with the thought of his father being dead. He looked back down at his father, and gave him one final shake “Daddy, please” he whispered. But it was futile, Roberts still open eyes stared up at him, the same eyes Alec had always known, but now they were blank and unseeing. He put his hand on Roberts face, traced the outline of his jaw, and with a sob he buried his face in his fathers shoulder and for the first time in years, he wept.

 

By the time Magnus reached the council hall it was almost empty. He looked around the room in shock, Julian and Emma were cradling Livvy Blackthorn. Jia was sitting on the edge of the dais talking to her husband, she was covered in blood. Magnus eyes found Alec, he was sitting against the wall behind the dais, with his fathers head resting on his lap. Magnus walked towards him, slowly, so he could take stock of him. He looked like he had been dragged through hell. He was covered in blood, it was on his clothes, his hands, his face and even in his hair. His eyes were bloodshot from crying and he was shaking, a constant tremor throughout his body as if he was freezing cold. At that moment the silent brothers entered the room and made their way towards Alec. Magnus watched as Alec nodded at them, clearly hearing them speaking to him in the way they did. He clutched Roberts sleeve as they lifted his body, a small gesture which made Magnus’ heart constrict. He stood shakily watching them carry his father’s body away, and then he noticed Magnus standing on front of him. Magnus didn’t say anything as Alec threw himself into his arms, he just held him while he cried. 

 

Alec sat on the edge of the bath in he and Magnus’ room, he couldn’t stop shaking, he felt like someone had put an electric current under his skin. Magnus closed the door and turned towards him, “Alec, darling, you need to shower, it will make you feel better”. Alec nodded, but he didn’t move, he physically could not make himself move. Every breath he took was like a knife to his heart. He kept seeing his fathers body lying motionless on the floor. He kept running through all the things he wanted to say to him and now never could. He was sure they would have more time. He put his head into his hands and heard Magnus moving towards him. When he looked up he realised he was kneeling on front of him, and Alec put his head on his shoulder. He didn’t think he had any tears left but as the sadness came over him in a wave he sobbed into his boyfriends shoulder. He allowed himself a moment and then he lifted his head and nodded at Magnus, who immediately began unlacing his boots. Magnus helped him to his feet where he continued to help him undress. His clothes were stuck to his body with the blood, it was everywhere, like he’d been to macabre paint party. When Alec was completely undressed he stepped into the shower. Magnus stepped in still fully clothed and held him without a word. He clung to his boyfriend and watched with a distant fascination as the shower turned red and his father’s blood swirled down the drain. 

 

Magnus sat on the edge of the bed watching Alec sleep and his heart ached for him. He slept the sleep of someone who knew they would have to face horrors when they awoke. His tossed and turned, his hair was plastered to his sweaty face and his hands clutched the bed sheets. Magnus longed to use magic to ease his mind and allow him a few hours of peace but he knew he would burn himself out. Alec needed him to stay strong more than ever now. It had been a rough day and evening. Alec had pulled himself together to speak to his mother, to Jia and to put the children to bed. He had gone through the motions of having dinner. As soon as they had gone to bed he had broken down again, and Magnus had held him as he wept. The hard body shaking sobs of someone who had lost a most precious part of them. He kept saying how he thought they’d have more time, the guilt of lost moments crushing down on him. Magnus had tried to ease his pain but really all he could do was be there. He had rarely seen Alec cry, and he hadn’t for years. Magnus had the feeling that the rift between Alec and Robert was making this even harder. Alec had been so sure that he and his father could grow closer, especially with Rafe and Max in the picture. Now they would never have the chance, and the weight of that was something he knew Alec would forever struggle to bear. 

 

 

Alec looked at himself in the mirror. His own eyes staring back at him looked like a strangers. They were shot through with red and the blue looked almost navy. He was wearing the white gear for mourning and it made his skin look deathly grey, like he had been completely drained of blood. The funeral had been painful, and he had come up to his room the second they’d gotten back. He felt his father’s absence like a physical ache. His mind kept replaying every fight, every bad word they had ever said to one another on a loop, like a horror movie. He thought about the last moments he saw his father alive, the casual goodbye he had given him, so sure he would see him again moments later. He wondered what Robert had felt before he died. Had he been in pain? Was he scared? Was he sad to leave his children? Alec felt like he had something solid in his chest, something heavy pressing on him and stopping him from breathing properly. Shadowhunters were not supposed to weep, they were supposed to accept death as a friend, allowing the honour of your body being part of the silent city. But Alec felt nothing but sorrow, and guilt. Guilt they things remained strained between them, and somewhere deep down the guilt that he was never quite the son Robert had wanted. He hoped that his father was at peace now, that he no longer felt the pain of life, and for the first time in Alec’s life, he prayed. For the father he would never see again, and for himself.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an alternate one shot where Alec is with Max during the attack in Alicante instead of Isabelle! Other than that it’s in the same universe and all characters/relationships are the same! 
> 
> Contains spoilers for City of Glass.

Alec walked back down the stairs to inform Sebastian and Max that the house was clear. He frowned when he realised they weren’t in the sitting room where he left them. “Max”, he called his brothers name. No answer. Alec was not one to panic but it was a strange night and he could feel the cold sweat of fear starting.

“Max, this is not the time where are you?”, he stepped into the kitchen. Max was staring wide eyed at him. “Max, why didn’t you answer when I called you, I need you to stay close to me”. Max just shook his head. 

Alec was about to open his mouth to ask his brother if he was ok when suddenly he felt something hit the back of his head. It was something hard, he started to see stars. He could feel his knees go out from under him. He looked at Max, and could see the terror in his eyes. He tried to call to his brother, tell him to run, anything, but as he opened his mouth another blow came. 

This time everything went dark, he could hear a loud whistling sound, so loud he couldn’t hear anything else. Then another blow, and this time everything was gone.

  


  


Alec blinked several times. He couldn’t see properly, everything was slightly blurred. He tried to remember where he was. He could tell he was lying on something hard but he couldn’t get his thoughts in order to figure out what. His head was pounding. He could feel the waves of sickness rolling over him that always came with a concussion. He closed his eyes against the feeling. 

But he knew he had to stay awake. 

He gave himself another 30 seconds and he slowly opened one eye. He could see what looked like rows of doors. It didn’t make sense. He opened the other eye and willed himself to focus. His head throbbed and his stomach heaved but he forced himself to look. He realised he was looked at rows of presses, he was in a kitchen, or a bathroom, somewhere domestic. 

He blinked, or at least he felt like he blinked, but he could have passed back out, he was sure it looked darker. He was slightly more aware, he knew now he was in a house. He was lying on his front, and he could see blood around him. Probably his own, if his pounding headache was anything to go by. 

He moved his arms to his sides, he knew he had to at least sit up. He pushed with all his might and just about managed to get onto his knees. He looked around him and tried to remember where he was and how he got there. He knew the concussion was making him confused. 

All he wanted to do was lie back down and go to sleep. Eventually someone would come and find him. But he knew if he went back to sleep he might not wake up. Rule 7 of training, keep yourself alert. Falling unconscious could mean death. 

He needed to move.

He put his hands out on front of him and edged across the floor on his hands and knees, around the other side of the counter. Every movement felt like he was on a swaying ship. He was struggling to keep himself upright and was about to give up when he saw something. Another person, lying a few feet away. He moved closer and stopped. Even in his hazy state he recognised the other person. 

It was Max. 

Alec felt his heart starting to pound. Max was lying still, too still. He started to move towards his brother, everything was a blur, he could barely concentrate. His head felt like it was going explode. He eventually reached Max’s side. He tried to get his eyes to focus but everything was tilting on its side. He was sure his brother was looking at him. 

He needed to lie down for just a minute. 

He lay his head down beside Max. He was lying down in something wet, he idly wondered if someone had spilled something. He put his hand on Max’s chest. He promised he would take him to the infirmary in just a second, once his head stopped spinning. 

Everything faded out as Alec lost consciousness again.

  


  


Magnus walked around the assembly, he was starting to get that nervous energy in his stomach. He couldn’t see Alec anywhere. They hadn’t spoken in over a week. Magnus had grown tired of Alec’s reluctance to acknowledge their relationship. He wasn’t expecting him to do somersaults and announce it to the world immediately but he wanted more. Although Magnus stood by his point he was regretting the silent treatment he had given him because right now all he wanted was to see him. To make sure he was ok, they could work everything else out later. 

He continued his movements around the hall until he caught sight of Isabel, she was standing with Robert and Maryse. As he got closer he realised they were arguing. Robert was giving out to her. Magnus caught the end of his sentence, “with Alec at the house, he’s probably worried sick about you”. Isabel started to argue back but Robert put a hand up to stop her. “Just stay here with your mother, I’m going to go get your brothers, please just stay here”. With that Robert stalked towards the exit of the assembly hall. Magnus decided to follow him, he just wanted to see Alec, and then he would leave.

  


  


As Robert left the hall he sensed someone walking up behind him, he turned around slightly and saw Magnus Bane. Magnus gave him a once over before speaking, “I need to walk back the same way, safety in numbers and all that.” With that he flounced ahead of Robert and down the steps. Robert was always a little nervous around Magnus, he was powerful and he must have remembered the things Robert had done in the past. 

Plus Robert wasn’t blind, he was well aware that Magnus had been spending a lot of time with his children. He just wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted from them yet. He said nothing and followed Magnus through the winding streets of Alicante. The night air reeked of the smell of demons. The towers were back up and the wards had been fixed but the streets were empty. People were either locked away or in the assembly hall helping the wounded and seeing to the dead. Of which there were many. 

Robert had left Jace in the hands of the silent brothers, he and Clary had been present for Valentines death, and for Sebastian’s. Jonathan, or whoever he was, Robert was still trying to wrap his head around it all. He just wanted to retrieve Alec and Max and go back so his whole family would be together. 

As he reached the consuls house he stopped. Robert could feel the hairs standing up on the back of his neck. The house was dark. Completely dark. Someone had left the front door wide open. Magnus was standing a few feet behind him, he turned and looked at the warlock. “Stay here”. With that Robert walked up the stairs and into the house. It was deathly silent. He could hear his own heartbeat pounding, the blood rushing around his ears. He didn’t want to call out. He already had a sense he wouldn’t get an answer. 

Where the hell were his children. 

He cautiously moved further into the house, the entrance hall was empty, everything looked in place. He looked into the living room, the dining room, and the same, nothing was moved or damaged. He turned to go into the kitchen when he heard a footstep behind him. He swung around and was face to face with Magnus. “I told you to wait outside”. Magnus looked at him witheringly, “trust me Robert if something is going to attack you, you’ll be thankful I’m here”. 

  


  


Magnus could almost feel Robert rolling his eyes despite the fact he had turned his back on him. Guess he knew now where Alec got that trait from.

Robert was moving towards the kitchen, and when he reached the door and swung it open he stopped dead. Magnus felt his blood run cold. Roberts face told him everything he needed to know. The man looked like he’d been shot, every ounce of colour had left him, Robert moved forward and Magnus followed him. 

The scene before him was one Magnus knew he would never wipe from his memory. Max and Alec were lying on the kitchen floor, surrounded by blood. Max was lying on his back, his eyes glassy and staring towards the ceiling. Magnus knew immediately the boy was dead. Alec was lying on his stomach, his head resting beside Max, his hand resting on his brothers chest. Magnus couldn’t tell if he was breathing. 

Robert dropped to his knees beside his children. Magnus felt his heart split, for that moment he didn’t see a man who had caused endless hate, but a father. Robert was not a stupid man, nor was he one to get hysterical, he seemed to know immediately Max was gone. He was trained well enough to know in battle to move to the person who could be saved. 

He closed his eyes for a moment and then checked Alec’s pulse. 

Magnus barely realised he was holding his own breath. Robert let out a shaky breath, “He’s alive”. He rolled Alec gently over onto his back, with his head resting on his knees. He was covered in blood. It was caked onto his face, in his hair, so much it was impossible to tell where his injuries were. 

Robert shakily took out his stele and drew a healing rune on Alec’s arm, it lit up for a second and disappeared. He did it again. He was starting to shake, he was whispering something to Alec. Magnus couldn’t hear but he knew it was a plea for Alec to wake up. Magnus moved forward and knelt beside them. He didn’t say anything but looked at Robert, who nodded, giving Magnus permission to use magic. Magnus threw everything he had into healing Alec, he drew on every ounce of power he had. 

Robert held his son the entire time. 

What felt like hours later Magnus sat back, and just as he did Alec’s eyes began to blink open. He had the hazy look of concussion in his eyes and Magnus knew they had to get him to the infirmary immediately. Alec looked up at Robert, squinting like he was trying to remember something. “Dad, Max needs to go to the infirmary, I had to lie down for a minute”. Magnus’ heart gave a painful thump. He looked at Robert, who was looking at his son. He wasn’t sure what Robert would do, what he would say. 

Robert surprised him. He brushed a lock of Alec’s hair away from his face with a gentleness Magnus didn’t think he’d be capable of. “Don’t worry we’ll take him there first, you go back to sleep ok you don’t need to worry I’m here now”. Alec, trusting his father, nodded and closed his eyes. Robert closed his eyes too and took a deep calming breath before looking at Magnus. “Can you please help me get Alec to the infirmary, I’ll carry Max?”.

Magnus nodded. No more words were needed.

  


  


Alec open his eyes slowly, his head was pounding but he was acutely more aware of his surroundings. He was in the Alicante infirmary, he recognised the roof paintings in the faint glow of moonlight. It was night, the room was silent except for the breathing of other people. He tried to remember what happened. How he got here. All he was getting was flashes but nothing solid would come to mind. The demon towers going out, his father asking him to stay at the house. Then a flash of lying on a floor, his father talking to him. Magnus’ face floated into his head too, was he there? 

Then a flash of Max hit him. Lying on the ground. Alec’s heart started to pound, where was his brother. He pulled back his covers and went to stand up. The dizziness hit him like a truck and his vision swayed. But Alec was determined so he steadied himself and stood up slowly. He moved from bed to bed looking for his brother. They were full of people, unconscious or sleeping. None of them were Max.

Alec started to panic. He moved towards the entrance, pushing open the door and stepping into the corridor. Again it was deathly silent, there was nobody around, it must be extremely late. He was about to start moving down the corridor when a figure appeared. Someone he recognised instantly, even shrouded in darkness. It was Magnus. 

Magnus moved towards him swiftly, “Alec you need to get back into bed”. Alec blinked at him, remembered that Magnus hadn’t been speaking to him. “You stopped calling me back” Alec said it out loud before he even realised what he was doing. Magnus opened his mouth to reply but Alec stopped him. “Where’s my brother? He’s not in the infirmary”. Alec was breathing hard. His head was pounding and his stomach was heaving. Magnus was looking at him with such profound sorrow that Alec wanted to look away. He knew what it meant.

“No” he whispered to himself. “No, where is my brother, where is Max? Magnus tell me where he is”. He knew his voice was getting louder but he couldn’t stop himself. Panic was setting in. Magnus moved towards him and Alec pushed his arm away. “Please don’t. Please just bring me to my brother Magnus where is he”. Magnus stepped back. “Alec, I’m sorry, Max is gone”. Alec closed his eyes as the world rushed in towards him. He couldn’t breathe. He felt his legs go out from under him but he didn’t hit the ground. Magnus had grabbed him.

He lowered him down holding him as Alec felt everything collapse around him. He couldn’t breathe. He was trying to get air into his lungs but it wasn’t working. He could hear himself talking but he wasn’t in control. Magnus was whispering to him in a language he didn’t understand. He closed his eyes, he thought just for a second.

When he opened them he was back in a bed. It wasn’t the infirmary, it was a small private room with plain white walls and a small window. The room was bathed in the soft glow of sunrise. He had passed out clearly. He turned his head to the side, Magnus was asleep in a chair beside his bed. Alec felt the pain hit him like a truck. 

His brother was dead. Max, the baby of the family. The little boy who spent all his time reading comics and trying to get his siblings to pay attention to him. His father had trusted him to take care of Max and he failed. 

Alec tried to hold back the sob that came out but it didn’t work. He turned on his side and buried his face in his pillow as an overwhelming feeling of sadness washed over him. His heart felt like it might explode. He heard Magnus shifting and then he took a hold of his hand. Linking their fingers together. Alec didn’t look up but he held on to Magnus’ hand like it was a lifeline.

  


  


He was feeling slightly better when Robert came to his room. Magnus had left. He didn’t want to answer questions on why he was in Alec’s room. Now was not the time. 

Alec took stock of his father, he looked bone tired. He didn’t know what to say to him. Robert took the lead however and walked over to Alec doing something he hadn’t done in many years. He kissed him, on top of the head and when he leaned back there were tears in his eyes. Alec couldn’t remember ever seeing his father cry.

Alec cleared his throat, “ I know about Max, they told me”, he purposely left out Magnus. Robert nodded. Alec continued “I’m so sorry”. Robert looked confused, Alec braced himself. “Sorry? Alec, you don’t need to be sorry. This was not your fault!” Robert sighed, “this was Sebastian’s fault. He murdered your brother and he tried to murder you”. Alec blinked as a tear rolled down his face. Murdered, his brother was murdered. Robert continued “We almost lost you both, Alec, don’t for a second think that I am not grateful that you’re here”.

Alec didn’t know what to say. His father was never one for sweeping statements or even simple I love you’s. He was a locked box. But, Alec reminded himself, this was a new version of his father. One that had lost a child. He would never be the same, their family would never be the same. 

Alec couldn’t think of any words to say back. Instead he took his father’s hand, and held it the way Magnus had held his. When he looked at their linked hands their matching rings glinted in the light. The reminder that they were Lightwoods. They could weather any storm. 

Alec willed himself to believe this as he squeezed his father’s hand just a little bit tighter.


End file.
